Oh man, I knew this day would come. I have to say, all jokes aside, that the Dewey Decimator is so awesome on every level--great design, beautiful execution, witty as all get-out. Just a triumph. I can't wait to find out who did this one, so I can run out and try to find examples of their work that I can buy, devour, and then push on all my friends.
Having said that: come on! It's gotta be the Red Raja--his apocalyptic battle with Lord Harm has been prophesied since the very creation of the Universe itself. No archival agitation can stand in the way of Destiny!
Professionally, I must stay with Dewey Decimator as the winner.
Here is how it goes down: Dewey studied, and devised a devious attack. As the bell sounds out pops Grendel as a diversionary tactic to spar with the Red Raja. Naturally, the Red Raja dispatches Grendel with relative ease, but looks up to see a slew of cooks with knives and butter. Again, the Red Raja has faced threats of being cooked before, and he is unperturbed. Again, the Red Raja quickly eliminates the chefs. And then, he stops- and starts to dance! For there, unnoticed in the corner is a Rouge Raja – and she is out of her shell and has urinated on the mat. The urine contains the pheromones, and the Red Raja has never seen a more beautiful Rouge Raja. Ah how he dances! Then – suddenly – he is on top of her! The F.A.C.A. is horrified and quickly the cameras cut to commercial. But it is too late – the empty carapace has been seen on NATIONAL TELEVISION! Congress talks about regulation, the F.C.C. threatens a fine. The Red Raja is forced to forfeit the match, leaving Dewey the victor.
But the win is at a cost. Some in the F.A.C.A. blame Dewey for this spectacle. Many fans of the Red Raja consider Dewey’s move a dirty trick and claim he didn’t actually win. Dewey didn’t make any friends this day, but he did progress to the championship….
I am hoping for Lord Harm in the other semi-final to see how he handles the smaktalk for one of these two absolutley brilliant fighters. Which would be better to see? The Lord sucking on a lobster claw or flicking through his new books by the light of a Dewey-O-Lantern? Due to this and because Geeks stick together, my vote is thus:
Dewey Decimator elected to summon forth from the creased and occasionally conjoined pages of his mighty Tome the terrifying tentacled titan known as Ted, younger brother to Ed, second cousin to Cthulhu, as the latter pair were on holiday on Saturn.
After blinking through a brilliantly bleary gaze, as summons from a spirit-slathered slumber will do much to mar a transdimentional titan's nigh intrepid ocular tolerance, Ted settled his gaze upon ol' Red Raja. Ted's eye widened with undisguised surprise!
Ted thundered, "Well jerk my arm and call me a nutcracker!"
Dewey felt a sudden rush, but not the kind usually reserved for candy store binges or stumbling into the incorrect locker room. Rather, Dewey felt the prickly sensation of foreboding as that quiet, special internal voice he generally tried to ignore as it sounded far to much like his grade four science teacher began to whisper hints of trouble, suggesting Dewey might have better attended how he'd let his fingers do their respective walking.
"Where's that quid you owe me?" Ted bellowed, tentacles flailing in the air like a wickedly devious yet strangely provocative windmill. Red Raja held his ground and gazed back at Ted evenly, his metal mandibles rasping a faint rasp as faintly rasping mandibles are prone to do.
Ted the Tentacled Titan lurched forward through the air and flung his massive tentacles around Red Raja, "Just kiddin' ol' buddy, less give 'er a high eight 'n go fetch us a pint!" After a pause, Raja returns the hug in a manly yet decidedly terrifyingly beastly sort of way, sort of like a Scottish reunion, except without the sheep.
Dewey looked perplexed, confounded even, and stamped his foot impatiently and, unfortunately for him, reporting sharply.
Moral of the story: never summon a pan-dimensional tentacled monster that is likely somewhat hung over and prone to be easily startled by sudden foot stamps, especially sharply reporting ones, as their ink blast can really backfire disastrously!
As the old monastery saying goes: play with the book, get the ink.
Okay, Red Raja is clearly the biggest, baddest thing FACA has seen in a while. But Dewey is, simply, the more flexible opponent.
The arsenal Dewey uses to defeat Red Raja: My Side of The Mountain by Jean Craighead George Dewey erects a might barrier between himself and Red Raja, thus eliminating RR's advantage in hand-to-claw melee.
The Guns of August by Barbara W. Tuchman Dewey pins RR down with a barrage of fire from atop his mountain!
Before RR can respond to this external attack, Dewey switches strategies: Curing the Crabbies by Helen Cordes
Followed by the coup de grace: Fish & Shellfish, Grilled & Smoked by Adlerf Karen
103 comments:
I encourage you to play out the vote- in your head or on your comment.
- describe how you see the match going down- but please make your vote clear- and post your vote seperate from your comment- thanks!
- Dewey Decimator
or
- The Red Raja
Red Raja
The Red Raja!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dewey Decimator
Dewey Decimator for sure!!!
RED RAJA.
As the Dewey Decimator can unleash anything ever imagined and written, it seems difficult to imagine him being defeated.
However...the Red Raja has dealt with the unimaginable and lived to tell the tale.
Red Raja.
My allegiences still lie with the Raja!
Red Raja Remains Reigning Supreme!
Red Raja
I love The Red Raja, but it looks like Dewey Decimator has been working on his stuff since we last saw him.
Dewey Decimator
Red Raja!
Red Raja !
RED RAJA!
The Red Raja!
redraja
Dewey Decimator
The Red Raja!!
I'm an archivist so I know the unimaginable power of...
Dewey Decimator
DD looks too confident, cocky even...
I don't like that.
And I think RR is ready for everything, a couple of quick movements, and DD is going to be part of the library: History.
RR for the win.
RED RAJA!
dewey decimator
Dewey Decimator has done an excellent job of establishing himself as a heel competitor in this competition.
Unfortunately that makes me want to vote against him.
Plus, Red Raja appears to be capable of slicing and dicing up anything Dewey can whip up.
Red Raja for the win!
Dewey Decimator!
Dewey Decimator!
Dewey Decimator
Red Raja
The Red Raja wins for sure. Scissors cuts paper, just like RPS said a long time ago...
Red Raja.
It doesn't seem like Dewey's book will hold up against those claws....I don't think he will be able to read fast enough...
WINNER : RED RAJA
dewey
The Red Raja.
RED RAJA RULES!
RED RAJA!
argh! this could be the tightest match-up i've seen! whew, still i must vote for...
DEWEY DECIMATOR!
DEWEY DECIMATOR!
RED RAJA
props for that drawing, woah! ass kicking city
Red Raja!
Winner: The Dewey Decimator!!!
red raja
The Red Raja!
The Red Raja!
Red Raja is indeed a mighty warrior, and rare indeed is the combatant who could possibly best him.
But Dewey Decimator is pretty dang rare. Looks like he's already getting ready...
Dewey Decimator to the finals.
Scissors beats paper!
Winner - Red Raja
He has a fresh clean sweater and he's ready to rock!
Dewey Decimator
Oh man, I knew this day would come. I have to say, all jokes aside, that the Dewey Decimator is so awesome on every level--great design, beautiful execution, witty as all get-out. Just a triumph. I can't wait to find out who did this one, so I can run out and try to find examples of their work that I can buy, devour, and then push on all my friends.
Having said that: come on! It's gotta be the Red Raja--his apocalyptic battle with Lord Harm has been prophesied since the very creation of the Universe itself. No archival agitation can stand in the way of Destiny!
Red Raja!
red raja!
DD won't be able to conjure quickly enough to keep up with RR's cutting and slashing.
Winner: Red Raja
I love them both, but imagining the prospect of Lord Harm and the Red Raja in an apocalyptic, no-hold-barred grudge match is delectable.
THE RED RAJA!!
RED RAJA WINS!!!
Red Raja ~
Professionally, I must stay with Dewey Decimator as the winner.
Here is how it goes down:
Dewey studied, and devised a devious attack. As the bell sounds out pops Grendel as a diversionary tactic to spar with the Red Raja. Naturally, the Red Raja dispatches Grendel with relative ease, but looks up to see a slew of cooks with knives and butter. Again, the Red Raja has faced threats of being cooked before, and he is unperturbed. Again, the Red Raja quickly eliminates the chefs. And then, he stops- and starts to dance! For there, unnoticed in the corner is a Rouge Raja – and she is out of her shell and has urinated on the mat. The urine contains the pheromones, and the Red Raja has never seen a more beautiful Rouge Raja. Ah how he dances! Then – suddenly – he is on top of her! The F.A.C.A. is horrified and quickly the cameras cut to commercial. But it is too late – the empty carapace has been seen on NATIONAL TELEVISION! Congress talks about regulation, the F.C.C. threatens a fine. The Red Raja is forced to forfeit the match, leaving Dewey the victor.
But the win is at a cost. Some in the F.A.C.A. blame Dewey for this spectacle. Many fans of the Red Raja consider Dewey’s move a dirty trick and claim he didn’t actually win. Dewey didn’t make any friends this day, but he did progress to the championship….
His tongue snipped, limbs lopped, and eyes gouged, the only thing Dewey had time to read from the book in his hands were the words... THE END.
The Red Raja wins!
Dewey Decimator will already have read about Red Raja. He'll be all too prepared. Obviously.
Dewey Does it.
The Red Raja
dewey decimator!!!
Red Raja
Dewey Decimator -- cause he just looks cooler.
Red Raja
Damn, I wasn't able to do it in proper time for the previous matches... I'll see to make that up for the future.
Winner! The Red Raja
this is pretty much impossible...
sorry, DD
my vote's for RR
ive been waiting for this: RAJA!
red raja!
I am hoping for Lord Harm in the other semi-final to see how he handles the smaktalk for one of these two absolutley brilliant fighters. Which would be better to see? The Lord sucking on a lobster claw or flicking through his new books by the light of a Dewey-O-Lantern?
Due to this and because Geeks stick together, my vote is thus:
Winner: Dewey Decimator.
For the Win:
Red Raja!
Dewey is one of the strongest attackers in faca3 but Raja still looks like he can handle anything.
Red Raja
Red Raja
Dewey Decimator!
There is nothing about the Red Raja that you can learn from a book. No man has lived to write it.
- Red Raja
DEWEY!!!
The Red Raja
dewey decimator wins!
The Red Raja and his smack talk wins !!!!!!
Dewey Decimator elected to summon forth from the creased and occasionally conjoined pages of his mighty Tome the terrifying tentacled titan known as Ted, younger brother to Ed, second cousin to Cthulhu, as the latter pair were on holiday on Saturn.
After blinking through a brilliantly bleary gaze, as summons from a spirit-slathered slumber will do much to mar a transdimentional titan's nigh intrepid ocular tolerance, Ted settled his gaze upon ol' Red Raja. Ted's eye widened with undisguised surprise!
Ted thundered, "Well jerk my arm and call me a nutcracker!"
Dewey felt a sudden rush, but not the kind usually reserved for candy store binges or stumbling into the incorrect locker room. Rather, Dewey felt the prickly sensation of foreboding as that quiet, special internal voice he generally tried to ignore as it sounded far to much like his grade four science teacher began to whisper hints of trouble, suggesting Dewey might have better attended how he'd let his fingers do their respective walking.
"Where's that quid you owe me?" Ted bellowed, tentacles flailing in the air like a wickedly devious yet strangely provocative windmill. Red Raja held his ground and gazed back at Ted evenly, his metal mandibles rasping a faint rasp as faintly rasping mandibles are prone to do.
Ted the Tentacled Titan lurched forward through the air and flung his massive tentacles around Red Raja, "Just kiddin' ol' buddy, less give 'er a high eight 'n go fetch us a pint!" After a pause, Raja returns the hug in a manly yet decidedly terrifyingly beastly sort of way, sort of like a Scottish reunion, except without the sheep.
Dewey looked perplexed, confounded even, and stamped his foot impatiently and, unfortunately for him, reporting sharply.
Moral of the story: never summon a pan-dimensional tentacled monster that is likely somewhat hung over and prone to be easily startled by sudden foot stamps, especially sharply reporting ones, as their ink blast can really backfire disastrously!
As the old monastery saying goes: play with the book, get the ink.
Winner: Red Raja
Dewey Decimal!
Red Raja!!!!
DEWEY D. F - T - W!
Dewey shoulda been decimated!!!
Red Raja gonna cut through the paperwork!
Red Raja for the "W"
red raja !
Dewey Decimator
Red Raja
Red Raja!
Red Raja!!
silently slicing until it ends
* Red Rahjah *
Red Raja!
he slice, he dice and he slurps with an attitude.
for the win
RED RAJAH!!!
snip snip...Red Raja wins
Now this is the kind of battle FACA was made for! As much as I admire the design/idea of Dewey, I gotta give it to
Red Raja!
Red Raja.
Winner: The Red Raja
This is a tough call... but my guts are telling me the scissored one wins this. Gotta go with my gut.
Red Raja
Red raja .
theres no discussion,
Okay, Red Raja is clearly the biggest, baddest thing FACA has seen in a while. But Dewey is, simply, the more flexible opponent.
The arsenal Dewey uses to defeat Red Raja:
My Side of The Mountain by Jean Craighead George
Dewey erects a might barrier between himself and Red Raja, thus eliminating RR's advantage in hand-to-claw melee.
The Guns of August by Barbara W. Tuchman
Dewey pins RR down with a barrage of fire from atop his mountain!
Before RR can respond to this external attack, Dewey switches strategies:
Curing the Crabbies by Helen Cordes
Followed by the coup de grace:
Fish & Shellfish, Grilled & Smoked by Adlerf Karen
The REEEEDDDD RAAAAAJJJJJAAAAAA!!!!!
Red Raja!!
I must say; Dewey is looking smashing for the semi-finals. But, the Raja is pure class from the git-go.
Red Raja - winnah!
The Red Raja
Gosh, these are, I think, the two best fistacuffs fighters ever.
I decided a long time ago that Red Raja was my top choice, but jeez...
Dewey is so awesome...
Still, though, Red Raja is perfection.
- The Red Raja.
The Red Raja
WHAT A CLASH OF TWO EXTRAORDINARY TITANS, THIS IS!!!
I think whatever Dewey has up his sleeves that Red Raja has the marbles to deal with it.
Red Raja!
WHAT A CLASH OF TWO EXTRAORDINARY TITANS, THIS IS!!!
I think whatever Dewey has up his sleeves that Red Raja has the marbles to deal with it.
Red Raja!
The Red Raja
d.
Red Raja!
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