Thursday, May 24, 2007


BATTLE ROYALE- FINAL

121 comments:

Mister Tan said...

I incourage you to play out the vote- describe how you see the match going down- but please make your vote clear- and post your vote seperate from your comment- thanks!

Winner- Knitty Gritty!

matt said...

Hmm...earlier I mentioned that Knitty Gritty had a sort of batman thing going on, in that she seemed like she had no significant powers, but also seemed like she could probably defeat foes who ridiculously outmatch her through sheer cunning, and of course the use of some yarn.

Basically, I see her somehow causing Mantelope and King Hellbender to accidentally attack one anotherl leaving her free to simply distract Cat o' Nine Tails O' Doom with the yarn, which she will then use to tie the kitty up and immobilize him.


Winner: Knitty Gritty!

pulphope said...

having had the disturbing experience of being awakened in the middle of the night by a horrific cat fight the other night-- five or more minutes of gutteral taunting form beyond the dark window pane, etherial, throaty call back and forth between two male cats fighting over a female in heat-- followed by a blood curdling minute of what could only be described as the sound of increasingly louder and louder metal grinding on a giant sander-- if such a thing could exist somewhere between the throats of two cats-- which died down like a dissapated hurricane, suddenly and without fanfare, only to be followed by an hour or more of oone of the cats howling in pain and coughing up what sounded like bloody chunks of its own guts-- and finally to dwindle off into a literal death-rattle...dead before dawn...

I must grant my vote to Cat O'Nine Tails (Of Doom), since unlike those housecats, this one seems mansized and covered in claws and teeth.

ArtistXero said...

I'm pretty sure Mantelope would use his radioactive antelope powers to hop all around the battlefield plugging his opponents full of holes with his gun there.

Winner: Mantelope

samacleod said...

Cat'O Nine Tails will strangle hold all of them at once!

Cat'O Nine Tails

ocularinvasion said...

King Hellbender

ornitorrincoman said...

Knitty Gritty

JettBOY said...

King Hellbender looks so big and obviously he can take the punishment, but I think he lacks agility. I think speed in a fight with a cat and an antelope is gonna cost Hellbender. I think the yarn is definitely a distraction for a cat, but Cat O' Nine has limbs enough to deal with the distraction and to deal death to Knitty and Mantelope simultaneously. That kitty was made to rumble.

Cat-O-Nine Tails(O' Doom)for the win.

Derrick said...

Knitty Gritty, despite her most valiant efforts, would become entangled in King Hellbender's many protruding armaments, giving Mantelope ample opportunity to eliminate them both. His focus on these two opponents distract him from the hellstorm that is the Cat O' Nine Tails...of Doom (who is the character that gets my vote)!!!

Chad! said...

With Knitty Gritty taking out the fearsome Cat--nine tails with nothing but a ball of yarn...I fear she falls prey to being trampled by the enigmatic Mantelope...right before he's clobbered in the face by the dastardly....

KING HELLBENDER...ftw...

Tom Barwick said...

fur balls of fire : )


cat o nine tails

john said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marmax said...

Can't see her being taken down...

Knitty Gritty

Carol H. said...

Cat O' Nine Tales

ROMANO said...

Cat O'Nine Tails (Of Doom)

Joel Carroll said...

Besieged by Cat'O Nine Tails (o' doom) eleven razored paws, Knitty Gritty is overwhelmed, her woolen arsenal shredded...useless...
She still dispatches the devil cat with a swift upper cut, while the furious feline joyously plays with her weapon of choice.
Stars float above her eyes as the bone bludgeon grazes her temple, crumpling in a pile before the feet of King Hellbender...
The Mantelope, versed in man's combat, but born of the savannah, quickly attempts lasering the heat resistant hide of the amphibious warrior king.
The melee lasts the good part of an hour, but there's only so much the Mantelope can take....his ruminate physiognomy demands him to graze...to build his limited store of energy....one last ditch attack.
But King Hellbender does not dodge...he does not parry....he takes the slashes, the punches, the light goring and head butts of his opponent, and keeps moving forward....until triumph.

Winner: King Hellbender

Garry Milne said...

Cat O' nine tails (o' doom) - winner.

Glorb said...

I think that Cat o'nine tails is gonna play with knitty gritty as he would surely do with any other wool ball (pelote de laine). Then he'll lay in the sun waiting for Kill Hellbender and Manterlope to kill each other. Then he'll fight easily the remain one. What can you do when the dead cat has 9 lives and you only one ?

Cat o' nine tails !

Greg Hillsman said...

Winner: King Hellbender

Luca Tieri said...

Knitty Gritty rules!!!

Cody the cannibal said...

Cat'o nine tails can't be stopped.

Cat' o Nine tails 'o doom!

Ras Yeti said...

It's simple math really.
(M)antelope's weakness are Cheetahs & other Big Cats
Loney Ladies Who Knit are always susceptible to Tom Cats.
Hell Lords have no power over Cats (because cats have no soul... that's in the bible, look it up).

Winner:
Cat-O-Nine Tails(O' Doom)!

Hado said...

Knitty Gritty!

cmykreature said...

Knitty Gritty all the way!

Jose Domingo said...

I wouldn´t like to be his veterinarian...

CAT O´NINE TAILS (OF DOOM)!!!!!

Christian S said...

king hellbender!!!

Dean Trippe said...

cat o' nine tails (o' doom) lets down its guard in the face of knitty gritty's distracting ball o' yarn. knitty finds herself feeling a little overdressed amongst her modest foes and sets about knitting up a cute one-piece. mantelope plunges his blade into king hellbender who laughs almost asbent-mindedly and then knocks out everyone in a single, unstoppable swing of his bone club.

winner: king hellbender.

danielfranco said...

KNITTY GRITTY.

TSM said...

Mantelope and Hellbender hate the mere sight of each other and immediately proceed to rend each other to bits.

Meanwhile, Cat O Nine tails dies of excitement over the soft colorful yarn Knitty Gritty tosses his way. His purrbox explodes in his throat resulting in suffocation. What a way to go.

Winner: Knitty Gritty

Mr. Joe said...

Kitty wants a nice ball o' yarn.


Cat O' Nine Tails (Of doom) FOR THE WIN!

Gavin Schmitt said...

King hellbender starts in strong by taking down Mantelope, quickly gets tangled in the yarn-and-tail mess of knitty gritty and the cat. Knitty uses her skill with knots and tangles to get out of it, for a limited violence victory (an LVV!)

Knitty Gritty for the win!

Bobby Holley said...

Knitty Gritty FTW!

Rick Lacy said...

Is everyone looking at the same line-up as I am? 'cause King Hellbender is all guts and weapons. The rest of these guys are just gonna bounce off him like so many dead, rubber balls.

KING HELLBENDER!

elcerdo said...

Knitty Gritty

Monkeyfeather said...

The fight comes down to Knitty Gritty and King Hellbender. Just when it looks like Hellbender has the upper hand, he drops to his knees, and dies. With a GIANT sword stuck in his shoulder, you'd think he would have checked to make sure he was up to date on his tetanus shot.

KNITTY GRITTY WINS!!!

Fred said...

Realizing the world faces extinction from King Hellbender, Mantelope will broker a partnership of necessity with Cat o' Nine and Knitty. Through teamwork and friendship, they will defeat the hellbent menace and save the Earth.

Then, as they're shaking hands and congratulating each other, Mantelope will slit his opponents throats, and claim victory for himself and his shadowy backers.

Don't judge Mantelope too harshly for his betrayal. He's nothing more than a heartless killing machine created by a heartless government.

Victory goes to Mantelope, the remorseless ruminant.

LT said...

Mantelope can run fast i think. no one else has that ability.


Mantelope

Mademoiselle Oulla said...

Cat O'Nine tails.

hewhocutsdown said...

Mantelope

...I tried and failed at thinking up a snarky comment. He's still the best, though.

Lance said...

god i'm only guessing how this would go down.

antelope man would fall victim to his own pride, trying too hard to look cool and whatnot.

cat with tails will cause some mega damage, but is ultimately in over his or her head.

knitty gritty does wicked cool stuff, but is overdressed. she'll get all sweated with heat strokes which leaves...

king hellbender to have treasures for win.

cory said...

knitty gritty

Dan Boyd said...

Knitty Gritty

dannygreen1964 said...

All Mantelope has to do is squeeze off three rounds and the fight is over.

Just like Indiana Jones against that big scimitar-wielding warrior in black.

Mantelope for the win

e said...

knitty gritty! you can't stop the yarn, man!

Jonathan Edwards said...

Get knitting three body bags...

Knitty Gritty!

MrSuspenders said...

knitty-Gritty

Kenneth Belasco said...

I have to imagine King Hellbender, Cat o' Nine Tails, and Mantelope going at it all the while Knitty Gritty sits in the corner and knits. After King Hellbender finishes of the other two Knitty clobbers him with a giant sledgehammer made of yarn.

Knitty Gritty winner!

MIKE THOMAS said...

King Hellbender cooks Cat o' nine tails and Mantelope with a massive fireball. Suddenly in the middle of his meal he receives two sewing needles to each butt cheek... after crying out in pain he then receives a huge ball of yarn lodged in his throat causing him to suffocate.

Knitty Gritty

J œ r m u ŋ g a n d r said...

I agree with Matt. Knitty Gritty has that Batman-I-don't-need-superpowers thing going on. I think she has this one in the bag. Cat-o's not gonna have a chance against her balls of yarn. She looks too smart to let herself get caught by Hellbender and he'll have his hands full with the force of nature that is the Mantelope. I think she'll take them both down while they're busy worrying about each other and before they know what hit'em they'll be wrapped up all neat and pretty in the world's most embarrassing Christmas sweater!

Knitty Gritty ALL THE WAY!

-David Poe said...

King Hellbender
I mean, look at that thing! It has a sword and arrows stuck to it, and it's still going.

They throw everything they have at it; claws, yarn or assault weapons - King Hellbender just keeps on going, smashing everything in his path. he didn't become King by laying down...

Winner: King Hellbender.

Night Flyer said...

Manelope butts heads with King Hellbender, staying just out of reach and looking for a weak spot. He doesn't have time to notice Cat O' Nine Tails wildly distracted by that alluring ball of yarn. When the two furry fighters collide in front of him, King Hellbender grabs and torches them both with his fiery breath. They're still cooking when Knitty Gritty leaps onto King Hellbender's back and pulls her wool cap over his eyes while her telekinetically controlled ball of yarn wraps around his arms to pin them to his sides.

As he effortlessly shrugs her off, the back of Knitty Gritty's sweater snags on the tip of the arrow jutting out from King Hellbender's shield. The sweater unravels several feet and then stops at a knot, leaving the DIY darling helplessly leashed to her angry foe.

King Hellbender snaps free of his crocheted bonds. Chuckling and pushing up his snazzy new cap, he proceeds to reel in Knitty Gritty who's too bundled up to break free. King Hellbender takes a deep, smoldering breath! It looks like the end!

As she gets pulled backwards to her doom, Knitty Gritty suddenly does a backflip. She lands on King Hellbender's shoulder and takes hold of the sword and pulls it from his scaly skin. He screams in pain, which accidentally releases a burst of flame that severs Knitty Gritty's leash. He lumbers around, clutching his open wound and taking another deep breath to end this match once and for all. Then Knitty Gritty gives the King back his sword -- plunging it into his gaping mouth and through the back of his head. She snatches back her cap and dives away as King Hellbender's final scream sends fire racing up his throat. The bell sounds as his head explodes.

He will definitely be sore in the morning.

Winner - Knitty Gritty

Jared Ransom said...

My vote is for that Knitty Gritty. I like the cut of her jib!

Checkmark said...

King Hellbender is still the strongest fighter methinks.

King Hellbender.

urbancowfolks said...

The battle last for hours. After the smoke clears, there are only two left standing, King Hellbender and Knitty Gritty. After a bit of a beating, Knitty uses her human ingenuity and female instincts to trick KH into giving up his weapons, as KG proceeds to slay the beast with his own weapon of destruction.

Winner: Knitty Gritty

Mike Laughead said...

King Hellbender is the superior fighter and he also has one hidden secret, the flower in his hand. He can see beauty as well. I predict that he and Knitty Gritty will defeat the other two and then settle down together and get married. So who wins there? King Hellbender, he's an uggo and he gets to marry a hottie.

Winner: King Hellbender.

Dave Shelton said...

Knit one, purl one, kill three...

Knitty Gritty

Jim Duong said...

WINNER: KNITTY GRITTY.

Nick said...

It'll be a long and no doubt grueling battle to behold...one filled with gnashing of teeth, yarn balls of destruction and lashing tails o' doom that snap and crack like lighting bolts.

Who emerges victorious from this monstrous battle?

KNITTY GRITTY, without a doubt.

Bart King said...

"Knitty Gritty" entices, distracts, and ?strangles? "Cat O'" with the yarn, narrowly avoiding the fearsome whipping tails.

"King Hellbender" battles "Mantelope", but for all Mante's supposed agility, grace, and accuracy of weapon, would be put down by an old fashion club to the face.

Hellbender, triumphant, sets loving sight on the scratched and stinging Knitty, approaches her sorrowful, clutching to a want and care deep inside him. He presents the young human woman with the protected flower, kneeling, lowers his body to be welcomed into her arms. She sooths the beast, gently caressing his head and whipping his tears with her scarf. She then drives a sewing needle deep into his ear. The End

Winner: Knitty Gritty.

Tim D said...

You can't kill what you can't catch. Mantelope dances around the slaughter and quickly dispatches the last of the other three standing.

Winner: Mantelope!

Witts said...

Knitty Gritty! no contest.

Randy said...

Winner: Mantelope!

Tim Baron said...

Hellbender's tough and all,he's cool, but I can't see him being too fast. I can't see him being too keen on Mantelope's obvious speed and high tech arsenal either.

Mantelope reminds me a bit of the "Battle Beast" action figure line from the 80s.

I vote Mantelope

mike said...

Cat o' nine tails is the winner.

He just has too much fighting, scratching, and falling-and-landing-on-his-feet-while scratching-your-eyes-out-13-times for the other four fighters to deal with.

Cat o' nine tails.

Eric Talbot said...

King Hellbender!

Tina Vaziri said...

Knitty Gritty! Her leg warmers heat up to super temperatures that will burn her opponents with sexy fire.

J. said...

Knitty Gritty.

Cats < Yarn

john struan said...

Knitty Gritty and Cat O' Nine Tails become entangled, Hellbender smashes them both.

Mantelope stands coolly off to the side and blows Hellbender's brains out.

Mantelope wins.

Scheurbert said...

Knitty Gritty, but King Hellbender a very close second

stephen eidson said...

All of these are terrific and I foresee no huge disappointment on my part if any of them win. That said, I think I'll once again be a loyalist (at least in terms of my original FACA votes) and stick with...

Mantelope.

Steve Rolston said...

King Hellbender

Kagan M. said...

Knitty Gritty

Bud Rogers said...

Cat O' Nine Tails is primed and ready to go on a berserker rage. If any of the other three contestants try to corner him, they better watch out!

It will be a hard-fought battle, but the Cat's going to be the only one standing at the end.

Joel Priddy said...

All four excellent contestants, but it all comes down to antipathies: Cat 'O Nine Tails and Knitty Gritty could not be more perfectly designed to cancel each other out, leaving the King free to mop up.

KING HELLBENDER!

john said...

I'm changing my vote. As much as I like Knitty Gritty, I think Cat O'Nine Tails (O'Doom) has this one wrapped up. As jettboy said, KG's ball-o-yarn would only be a minor, temporary distraction for CONTOD. Those other two jokers don't stand a chance against the Cat's agility and strength. 11 punches in the time it takes a brute like King Hellbender to turn around, and Mantelope may be fast, but all that gear must be weighing him down, giving Cat O'Nine the upper hand (the upper 11 hands, that is).


CONTOD wins.

Will Kane said...

Cat O'Nine Tails (Of Doom)

Michelle said...

King Hellbender because Cat O'Nine Tails and Knitty Gritty would get caught in one another, while Hellbender crushes Mantelope.

King Hellbender all the way!

Screw Jeff Owens said...

Knitty Gritty and Nine Tails are clearly mortal enemies. While they are busy doing what mortal enemies do, Mantelope figures out how to defeat King Hellbender, which really isn't a problem for Mantelope since Matelope is a scientist, like Batman. I am not a scientist, nor a keen observer, but SOMETHING definitely happened because Hellbender is unconscious on the ground.

Somewhat victorious, Mantelope turn just in time to see Tails (O' Doom) deliver the finishing whips to Knitty. See, what happens here is that we find out there was actually a utility belt under all that Mantelope fur. What's in that utility belt. Oh, %#@$! CATNIP! Anyone who has read Of Mice and Men knows how this goes down. Give 'em one to the head while they're distracted. It's a sad, sad world, folks.

Winner - Mantelope

Jim Medway said...

Knitty Gritty

Nimbus said...

Well, Cat-O-Nine-Tails stands no chance with that ball of wool that Knitty has there. That'll keep the feline distracted. Otherwise, Knitty Gritty appears woefully underpowered against the rest.

That leaves the final battle between Mantelope and King Hellbender - but I think gun and sword have the edge over a mere bone club. (And anyway, it's the only one I voted for that made it through to the final)

I vote for... Mantelope !

Adam said...

Many have made a good case for King Hellbender to succeed but I call him out as a fake. The arrows and sword are merely shoulder pad ornaments designed to look fearsome, the flower tattoo on his hand belies a softer personality. His leathery hide may seem impenetrable but every boss has his weakness and so must Hellbender. A crown does not a King make.
Easily dispatched by Mantelope's sword and swiftness, the mutant is left to wonder what threat Knitty Gritty poses. She seems confident (and cosy) but is armed with wool? During his confusion Mantelope is shredded to ribbons by the ferocious claws of Cat o' Nine Tails (of Doom) who struts into the battle late and lazily like cats do.
The last two remain, cat versus ball of yarn. This is no ordinary cat but is this an ordinary ball of yarn? Unable to resist attacking the woolen ball, the Cat lunges thoughtlessly into attack. Knitty receives numerous scratches but is shielded by her warm layered defences.
The dust settles and Knitty Gritty stands victorious over a cat of many tails entangled by that which it desires. Knitty has shown never to underestimate the underdog, especially if its a cute girl.

Winner: Knitty Gritty.

flaviano said...

vote: Cat O'Nine Tails

david rubín said...

KING HELLBENDER for the win!

d.

elephantom said...

knitty gritty

Jamin Hoyle said...

Cat o' Nine Tails (o' Doom!)

Serapio Calm said...

Bring them Hell! King Hellbender!

A vingadora social said...

Knitty Gritty!

D π said...

Despite his brutal appearance, Hellbender is a cunning warrior:
Mantelope is eaten immediately by C.O.N.T. like a scene out of a National Geographic special.
Knitty gritty uses her special move "Cat's Cradle" on C.O.N.T. A ball of yarn distracts, and a Web of yarn gently rocks C.O.N.T to sleep.
Hellbender feigns admiration and offers Knitty his Flower, she takes it and is immediately warped to a hell dimension.
Hellbender.

thedave said...

He is the most serious most determined fighter....

Winner...
MANTELOPE

chrishaley said...

King Hellbender for the win.

nelson said...

KNITTY GRITTY
is the best

tonci said...

i think we all know what happens. cat o' nine tails beats the crap out of everyone!

cat o' nine tails!

juanito said...

Cat o' Nine tails has too many apendages or limbs... ah no tsure what to call them.:)

winner = Cat o' Nine Tails!!!

Lighthouse Pilot said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tyler (characters N' sketches) said...

cat o nine tails rocked em all, he's too fast for the rest and ohhh man those nine tails sure came in handy





cat o nine tails

Lola said...

knitty gritty!

GiantKillerMantis said...

Knitty Gritty

Lighthouse Pilot said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lighthouse Pilot said...

During my brief tenure as a cat fancier I've learned that you should never screw around with something that has claws and a natural proclivity to capture, mame, toy with, and ultimately dispatch in the cruelest of methods its prey. I've also learned that cats don't always know what's best for them. Hence, Knitty Gritty and Cat o' Nine Tails O' Doom will be locked in epic combat until judgement day and trumpets sound.
Mantelope is too resourceful and agile for King Hellbender to land any blows. He is, however, King Hellbender and it would take more than Mantelope's gun or cool tech-sword to scratch him. The guy leaves a sword in his shoulder just to intimidate his opponents for Pete's sake. Mantelope is no dummy and desides that if he runs away today he will, live to fight another day.

Victory goes to King Hellbender

mmmmmike said...

king hellbender, hands down yo. flowers beat yarn anyday

king hellbender

Jason said...

Winner: Knitty Gritty

thealamobasement said...

Knitty Gritty

lastworthy said...

I vote for Hellbender, king of men( and women) and beasts(and kiiiities)

ShRiek said...

" you put my head into the stocks
and then you went to choose a cane
but hey your cat has got nine tails
you like to leave me lame "

cat o' nine tails

POUALIE said...

kitty 'o

Operation GutterBall said...

King Hellbender

Mark said...

MANTELOPE

Leonardo Finocchi said...

He is the one!

Winner: Cat' o Nine tails 'o doom!

Gyula Nemeth said...

Knitty!!!!!

Durable Dirigible said...

Knitty Gritty! all the way

Jillian said...

All I can envision at the end of this battle is 3 big, macho opponents wrapped tightly to a big pole, and Knitty Gritty standing victoriously with the end of the yarn in her hand.

Knnnitty Gritty!!!

quahogclam said...

MAN-TE-LOPE wins it all

Ashley said...

Cat o' Nine Tails O' Doom

JJ said...

Knitty Gritty, all the way!

RJackson said...

Cat O'Nine Tails O'Doom! Cats love to play with balls of yarn - and shred them to pieces!

Chris said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Big Al said...

knitty gritty

Mr A. P. Salmond, esq. said...

King Hellbender for the win!

MonKe said...

Cat O' Nine Tails is the only one who can stay watching TV while his tails are fighting everybody.

winner : Cat O' Nine Tails !

I. N. J. Culbard said...

I agree, Cat'O Nine Tails would probably strangle hold all of them at once... however Knitty Gritty's come to this fight well prepared. She's got a ball of wool.

Winner: Knitty Gritty.

Mister Tan said...

Voting over.

sam